MANUAL TEAMWORK, LEADERSHIP AND NEGOTIATION

TEAMWORK, LEADERSHIP AND NEGOTIATION

the speaker or pressure them to admit more than they would like to reveal.

It is also important to avoid any suggestion to the speaker that the feelings one is reflecting are the feelings one should be experiencing in that situation. This would tend to make the speaker feel evaluated, when what we are trying to do is to communicate our acceptance of the feelings surrounding the speaker's words. Often, acceptance or evaluation is communicated more by the manner and tone of voice of the listener than by the words used, so we need to be careful with non- verbal communication.

9.9.4. Invite further contributions

Even when you have not heard or understood enough to make indications of understanding, empathy or acceptance, you can at least communicate interest in listening further. Phrases such as:

"Tell me more about that. "What did you feel when....? "Help me to understand...? "And what happened next?

• • • •

In this context open-ended requests for the other to continue speaking are preferable to precise questions. Demanding questions can lead to the speaker having to expose himself more and more, without being able to know how the listener receives and evaluates the communication. Specific requests for information may constitute a one-sided demand for openness in the speaker. To maintain balance, questions should not be used exclusively, but should be accompanied by rephrasing and reflection of underlying feelings.

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