MANUAL TEAMWORK, LEADERSHIP AND NEGOTIATION

TEAMWORK, LEADERSHIP AND NEGOTIATION

regardless of whether we agree or disagree with them, we are using empathy. Empathy is the best formula for active listening, it allows us to understand our interlocutor without judging them, without having to agree with them.

Remember: the purpose of listening is to understand, not to evaluate.

Acquiring active listening skills takes effort, but they can be learned. Some of the behaviours suggested below may seem awkward or forced when you first start using them, but with practice they will seem more natural. It is difficult to respond with patience, understanding and empathy when the other is expressing ideas that seem illogical, misleading or even morally wrong; however, the behaviours listed will, if practised with confidence, engender attitudes of tolerance and understanding that will facilitate empathy and non-evaluative acceptance of others.

9.9.1. Paraphrase the contents

This consists of rephrasing in different words what the other person has just said, in order to check that you have understood him/her accurately. You can use starter phrases such as:

• "As I understand it, what you are saying is...". • "You mean...?". • "So what you're proposing is...".

The key to this behaviour is that you have to listen with a real intention to understand what the other party is saying. If, when the other party is speaking, we spend time thinking about what we are going to answer, or making mental evaluations and critical observations, we will probably not hear enough to know how to paraphrase correctly.

It is useful to paraphrase quite often, as it will help you to get into the mental habit of doing so. People don't mind being interrupted from time to time if you want to

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