STUDY BOOK The power of language and actions, the basis for

COACHING: El poder del lenguaje y las acciones

The forgiveness of the other does not absolve us of our responsibility, but having said "Sorry", even if the other did not forgive us, is in itself of greater importance and the world we build is different regardless of what the other says, depending on whether or not we have declared it. On many occasions declaring "Sorry" can be insufficient as a way of taking responsibility for the consequences of our actions. In addition to forgiveness, we have to take responsibility for repairing the harm done or compensating the other. But this does not diminish the importance of declaring forgiveness. Forgiveness is not an act of grace to the one who hurt us. Forgiveness is a declarative act of personal liberation. By forgiving we break the chain that binds us to the perpetrator and keeps us as victims. By forgiving we take charge of ourselves and resolve to end an open process that continues to reproduce the harm that was originally done to us. In forgiving we recognise that not only the other, but also ourselves, are now responsible for our own well-being. Self-forgiveness has the same liberating effect as above and to do so is a manifestation of love for oneself and for life.

o The declaration of love: Saying "I love you".

It does no more than describe how one feels. The emotion one feels for another is not changed by expressing it, but saying it or not saying it makes a difference to the relationship we build with each other, particularly when it is someone who is important to us or who may be wanting to hear that statement. Declaring "I love you" or "I love you" participates in the construction of my relationship with the other and is part of the creation of a shared world. Words are actions; silence, therefore, can be a form of non-action that changes relationships.

On the relationship between statements and declarations.

Statements represent the primary linguistic act par excellence, the one that creates the conditions for the emergence of the others. Without denying the distinction that has made between affirmations and declarations, for us to have affirmations we

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European Open Business School